How far is too far?

Cleavage wrinkles? Really? We are spending money on coming up with ways to fight cleavage wrinkles when there are people in our own country suffering from poverty and hunger? Sorry, I can only go so far into this world before I throw up.

http://www.nytimes.com/2011/08/11/fashion/skin-deep-fighting-cleavage-wrinkles.html?_r=1&partner=rss&emc=rss



One a secondary note, here is an interesting quote of the week:

"The present study focuses on one prominent message that is represented in many children's fairy tales: the feminine beauty ideal. The feminine beauty ideal-the socially constructed notion that physical attractiveness is one of women's most important assets, and something all women should strive to achieve and maintain- is of particular interest to feminist scholars. While the feminine beauty ideal is viewed largely as an oppressive, patriarchal practice that objectifies, devalues, and subordinates women (e.g., Bartky 1990; Bordo 1993; Freedman 1986; Wolf 1991), it is acknowledged that many women willingly engage in "beauty rituals" and perceive being (or becoming) beautiful as empowering, not oppressive (Dellinger and Williams 1997). A further paradox of the feminine beauty ideal is that in a patriarchal system, those women who seek or gain power through their attractiveness are often those who are most dependent on men's resources."

The Pervasiveness and Persistence of the Feminine Beauty Ideal in Children's Fairy Tales

Lori Baker-Sperry, Liz Grauerholz

Gender and Society, Vol. 17, No. 5 (Oct., 2003), pp. 711-726

Baby Steps.

Last week I was feeling kind of discouraged in regard to my self discipline and my resolve to push forward on this experience as I couldn't even convince myself to wake up a little earlier to get ready and as I still went to rugby practice. On Saturday as I was working on cleaning up my apartment and trying to cross off things on my to-do list, a friend texted me to see if I wanted to go to the mall. My gut reaction was, the raising of my eyebrows and the crinkling of the nose. The second reaction was, "Wait, when did I tell him about my experiment?" (I didn't) Then the final reaction... "This is the universe testing me..." So going against the grain of my moral fiber, I agreed and we went a-shopping. So, my friend is really trendy, you know, so trendy you question his sexuality (wrong I know). So, I gave myself up to him and let him pick out clothes for me. (Pic below: I have nooo clue what this is!)

I bought almost everything he picked out for me (Ps. I don't know if this should make me feel better or worse about myself but totally picked out clothes that were ridiculously too small for my thunder thighs and massive arms). We went to a couple stores and I came away with two pairs of sunglasses, two lip glosses, two dresses, and one shirt. I managed buy all this for $40 (the lip gloss ironically were the most expensive items at $7.50 each). (Pic below: $5.99 dress)

I felt good about this. Not only did I add new clothes and accessories to my arsenal but while I was at the mall another friend invited me to a rugby game. I was extremely tempted to ditch the mall and head to the pitch but I remained strong and stayed at the mall until my friend was ready to go. :D

So, to be truthful though, after I got home I changed into one of the dresses I bought and I went and watched the rugby game that hadn't started (Polynesian time pushed the game back an hour allowing me to not miss a beat). I felt guilty again for my lack of progress and so when I saw an "Open" sign on a nail salon on the way home from the game I pulled over and went inside.
As I walked in, I inquired if they were still open or not. The lady said they were and asked what I wanted done. I replied, "I don't know. Anything?" At this point the language barrier provided problematic. Not the English to Vietnamese language barrier but the Beauty speak to the Beast lingo language barrier. She asked if I wanted a full set? I said sure. I said, not fake nails though. She said french tip? I said sure. I sat down and waited thinking that I was lining up for my nails to be painted. She came over and with the speed of an Asian tigress she had all of my nails clipped off before my jaw had time to unhinge and my mouth fall. Have you ever had acrylic nails? Or watched them put on? I had never before and to be truthful I was pretty amazed throughout the entire process. (See here for a youtube video tutorial, I would skip through it faster but it's crazy, whoever thought of this... http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bHAZCkfKRv8) Anyway, I also ended up getting my eyebrows waxed and any other dark hair that happened to make it's way to my face. After this I went to the store and bought jewelry, a belt, leggings, a scarf, a new purse (my last one was literally attacked by a pit bull) and almond milk.

A couple extra insights that I have acquired already through this experience:

1. Nails and other things associated with beauty makes you incapable of being self sufficient. You can't do anything with nails, heals, and tight skirts... It also requires a lot of money, and to put all this effort into looking good, it takes a lot of time, so unless you already have a lot of money, it would only make sense to find a guy with a lot of money to finance your lifestyle.

2. When you spend this much time and money making yourself look better, you want it...no, you need it to be appreciated. After I got my nails done, my face stripped, new clothes, and new bling I needed it to be appreciated....So I did a stupid thing. This guy has been bugging me to do something with him for a long long time. I always blew him off but Saturday when he asked to do something with me..I actually went to a movie with him.... Silly I know but it would feel like a waste if I didn't go out and be SEEN!!! :D
Sidenote:

Have you ever noticed that a lot of the nail places are run by Vietnamese? I hadn't because I haven't ever gone but I was told that. So, I looked it up. Here is an article http://articles.latimes.com/2008/may/05/local/me-nails5/2 and if you don't want to read the whole thing here are some highlights:

• In California, Vietnamese Americans make up an estimated 80% of nail technicians, according to the industry's trade publication. Nationwide, it's 43%.
• In the 1970s, manicures cost up to $60. But waves of Vietnamese manicurists, mostly refugees who happily settled for low wages, slashed prices. Now, manicures and pedicures go for as little as $15.
• Cosmetology licensing tests in California and Texas are given in Vietnamese.

WWBD

So I was talking to a friend who is a really good student (I'm not, I'm the lazy type) and he was saying that whenever he is making a decision about what to do in regard to his studies, he always thinks, "What Would (a professor he really admires) Do"? So, I've decided that I need something like that to start thinking the way this Beauty Queen would think. Fortunately enough for me, my roommate just happens to be a pro in all beauty related fields. She went to cosmetology school, went to dental school, has been a certified nursing assistant, and has owned her own day spa. She frequently goes to get her hair done (I go get a $6 cut about every 6 months or so when I find myself playing with my dead ends too much) and knows the ins and outs of the beauty world. She is always very well dressed and made up. So, when I'm thinking about what I should do, I'm going to think What Would Bethany Do?

It's already started. This morning when I woke up, tired like always, I thought: "Should I get up and get ready or should I enjoy a little more sleep?" I thought Bethany would get up, shower and beautify herself before leaving the apartment...I lifted my arm....and then let it sink back to the bed... I didn't even get in a shower this morning... FAIL.

She's beauty and She's grace

I don't know if I am the average when it comes to knowledge about beauty pageants but if you're like me, three things come to mind when you think of beauty pageants:

1. Miss Congeniality: Especially the talent section. When a co-worker and I were talking about this idea she said she would really like to see me tackle someone as my talent...like Sandra Bullock. I have to admit this sounded really tempting. Sandra Bullock is my role model, not really, but let's pretend. Although, I'm pretty sure they wouldn't let me demonstrate tackling as a talent, right??

2. 4-H Fair Royalty: Back home the only exposure I got to "Beauty Queen" material was the local royalty. Not to be mean, but you didn't have to be pretty to win, you just had to enter.

3. Toddlers and Tiaras: One word. Terrifying! No, two more words. Mental Illnesses.

So, with most of my knowledge coming from those three things, I began to investigate the world of beauty pageants (A lot easier to spell when you think...Page -Ants).

Beauty pageants come in all sorts and sizes:
babies to 50+,
both genders,
local or state or national or global,
uber glitz or no make-up allowed
Certain ethnicities or nationalities.
With or without the swimsuit section or talent section

To be truthful it is sort of hard to sort out all the different pageants and to find one.

The one thing they all have in common? The entrance fee!! Holy Cow! I've heard (from Ms. Congeniality) that beauty pageants are scholarship opportunities...I see them more as a lottery. There are different types but one pageant I was looking at has a base fee and then additional fees for categories to complete in. I'm sorry, but to me that's a waste of money. Oh yes, I would love to spend another $10 so someone can tell me that I don't have the "Prettiest Hair" and another $10 to see if I can compete for the "Best Personality"! Boo! That's what I think. I don't need to pay money for someone to tell me my hair looks lousy. But I'm trying to be open minded here. With this many categories, you are sure to inflate your ego with at least winning something!
I know my capabilities. I'm not going to over shoot my ability to compete in these things by any means. So, I pick the easiest route. I happened to find a pageant where I don't even need to compete at the state level because my state doesn't have a competition! I just received an email informing me that all I need to do is register to become my state appointed queen and I will receive:

Official Miss Heart of America State Queen Sash
Beautiful Rhinestone Crown
National Information Packet
Rhinestone Sash Pin

Ba bam! There I go. Easy as pie. I could totally get my crown, right there! What does registering include though you ask? Paying an entry fee of $195.00! And that is the reduced price due to sponsorship... Hmmm. Is it worth it? I could totally just go buy that stuff at the dollar store and no one would know the difference..What else could I do with $200? ... So many other useful things! But, I am to think like a Beauty Queen. So it is worth it! But wait, it's in Orlando Florida...this is a big commitment financially. I go to the site to register but I can feel my ears starting to burn. I don't think I can convince myself to do this. But hey, it's the first day. So, I held off on registering for today, and went to rugby practice... :D

Year 1- Cleats to Crowns Expectations

Starting tomorrow I will step foot into the magical and hidden world of beauty and begin on my path to the land of dieting, plucking, toning, buffing, and enhancing. It's my plan to enter at least two beauty pageants by the end of the year and make it past the first round cuts for at least one pageant (It will also be my goal to be able to spell the word pageant without the aid of spell checker). Each week I promise to post about either research I have performed regarding the beauty industry or experiences that I have had regarding the challenge. There are many small and large milestones that I will under take through out this year as I have literally no foundation going into this experience.To start off here are pictures of me on a regular day to gauge my progress:

Clarification

I would just like to clarify that in no way am I unhappy in my current life situation. In fact in most of these areas I have foolish pride in the way I am (i.e. cheap, not the helpless feminine type, etc.) One of the main reasons why I am doing this is because I have a tendency to judge these type of people and I would like to see their world through their eyes so that I might have more empathy and understanding of their lifestyles. Someone once said you can never cut cheese so fine that there isn't two sides. I think it's time to get a better glimpse of the other side.

The Beginning

What do you get when you take "Black Like Me" by John Howard Griffin add a little Eliza Dolittle and touch it off with a little MTV's "Made"...? This blog!

I've decided that for the next 4 years I am going to take on 4 different lifestyles that are polar opposite what I am used to and see if at the end of each year I can't pass off as a legit member of their community. I'm thinking I will use the following 4 lifestyles...but I reserve the right to modify as needed...

Year 1. Cleats for Crowns -- Since I can remember I was always the tough and rough little tom boy and always wrinkled my nose at the beauty world. I'm not very pretty and this is probably why I haven't ever tried to do much to enhance my feminine side. I have been athletic my entire life and very competitive. I played rugby in college and currently play rugby for a city team. I'm often found muddy, sweaty, and completely happy and at home in cleats on the pitch. This next year, I will learn to be competitive in a different way...in a different world-the world of beauty.

Goal: To legitimately compete for a "real" beauty pageant crown. Exploring the world of beauty and all that it entails...

Year 2. Working Class for Upper Middle Class -- I come from the working class. My family has struggled financially for as long as I remember. This has resulted in me being extremely tight fisted and most of my tastes reflect this. My family is that family that keeps old cars in the yard to use for spare parts (I change my own oil and have worked on cars more than some mechanics have, my favorite rig was an '83 Ford F-150), I've made jean quilts, I grew up on goulash and Shepherd's pie, I know how to talk like the country folk. For this year, I will enter the world of luxury and ease, of high rollers and high class and learn how to live the high life.

Goal: To mingle among the upper class comfortably without them being able to tell that I didn't grow up just like them. To become sophisticated.

Year 3. Cow Tipping for Beat Boxing -- I am a country bumpkin. About as white as it gets. I got soul...but it's more of that protestant don't do anything out of line soul. I generally try to keep my lips sealed around those I consider to be "hip" because I know that I am too not legit to not quit. See case and point, complete lameness. I would like to transform myself to be a fine white chocolate. I'm gonna be kewl or something like that!

Goal: To be invited to join a hip hop dance crew. To be legit.

Year 4. A Local Yokel for a Globetrotter -- I haven't traveled much outside of the Western United States. I've only briefly traveled to northern Mexico and spent a spring break in New York City. If I can't drive there within a day, I most likely have not been there. This year will be a year spent dipping my feet in various countries around the world; becoming acculturated to the life of travel and exploration.

Goal: To travel to at least 6 different countries in at least three different continents. To be a world explorer.


I hope to be able to completely submerge myself into these experiences, to shift my paradigm to see the world as these individuals see the world. I do desire however, throughout the experience refrain from activities or lifestyle choices that I feel would significantly endanger the structural integrity of my soul or result in long term negative physical effects. The road will be long and I am sure often times very hard but at the end I hope that I have gained experiences that will help me be a better person and understand other people more fully.

Wish me Luck!! I'm definitely going to need it...that and a lot of patience, an open-mind, and a fat bank account. :D